Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
On Becoming a Better Man
I am a 28-year-old man.
Until recently, I considered myself a boy. Why I've decided to launch myself into adulthood, I'm not really sure... Perhaps that will be addressed in a future entry.
I do not like myself. As I am very much alone these days, I suppose I should actually take the time to work on improving my situation. I've spent the last three years of my life focusing the vast majority of my time and effort on making someone else happy - something that came at the expense of me ever so much as looking at what I needed to do to make myself happy.
So what's the plan? What is a 28-year-old man to do?
Here 'goes.
1. First things first. I will finish my M.Ed. program and apply to several Ph.D. programs. I want to have a family. I would like to give them the best life that I possibly can. I do not want my wife or my sons/daughters to have to worry about money.
2. I will stop buying garbage that I do not need.
3. I will pare down the collection of garbage that I already have.
4. I will only watch one hour of television per day. I am allowed to extend this liberty only if there is a Red Sox game on national television or a fight that I'd like to see. It should be noted that I cannot help watching cable news while I'm at work, as I am currently employed at the Vanderbilt Television News Archive - my workspace consists of televisions playing CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and Headline News 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
5. I will read more.
6. I will spend less time on the computer looking at websites that have no value whatsoever. This includes pornography.
7. I will exercise more.
8. I will learn to cook more than sandwiches, cheeseburgers, etc. Vegetables never hurt anybody - in fact, they tend to do quite the opposite.
9. I will stop smoking. This will be difficult.
10. I will stop smoking pot. Maybe. Okay, after I've accomplished EVERYTHING else on this list, perhaps I will revisit pot - but not before then.
11. I will watch more movies. Though this might seem contradictory to point no. 4, I view films as works of art - the films I tend to like, at least. Television, with the exception of some of HBO's programming, is 99.9% irredeemable garbage.
12. I will use fewer profanities. This too will be difficult.
13. I will work more on playing my guitar. Though I feel like I've made quite a lot of progress with my playing, I am still not where I'd like to be. I will also start playing more music with other people.
14. I will return to the GED class I previously tutored throughout the spring.
15. I will keep my apartment cleaner.
16. I will more seriously consider spirituality. However, if I come to find that I still consider myself an agnostic/atheist, I will be totally fine.
17. I will keep in closer contact with my parents, grandmother and brother.
18. I will attempt to engage in other creative activities - e.g. writing, photography...
19. I will go on dates.
That should do it for now.
Wish me luck.
Until recently, I considered myself a boy. Why I've decided to launch myself into adulthood, I'm not really sure... Perhaps that will be addressed in a future entry.
I do not like myself. As I am very much alone these days, I suppose I should actually take the time to work on improving my situation. I've spent the last three years of my life focusing the vast majority of my time and effort on making someone else happy - something that came at the expense of me ever so much as looking at what I needed to do to make myself happy.
So what's the plan? What is a 28-year-old man to do?
Here 'goes.
1. First things first. I will finish my M.Ed. program and apply to several Ph.D. programs. I want to have a family. I would like to give them the best life that I possibly can. I do not want my wife or my sons/daughters to have to worry about money.
2. I will stop buying garbage that I do not need.
3. I will pare down the collection of garbage that I already have.
4. I will only watch one hour of television per day. I am allowed to extend this liberty only if there is a Red Sox game on national television or a fight that I'd like to see. It should be noted that I cannot help watching cable news while I'm at work, as I am currently employed at the Vanderbilt Television News Archive - my workspace consists of televisions playing CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and Headline News 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
5. I will read more.
6. I will spend less time on the computer looking at websites that have no value whatsoever. This includes pornography.
7. I will exercise more.
8. I will learn to cook more than sandwiches, cheeseburgers, etc. Vegetables never hurt anybody - in fact, they tend to do quite the opposite.
9. I will stop smoking. This will be difficult.
10. I will stop smoking pot. Maybe. Okay, after I've accomplished EVERYTHING else on this list, perhaps I will revisit pot - but not before then.
11. I will watch more movies. Though this might seem contradictory to point no. 4, I view films as works of art - the films I tend to like, at least. Television, with the exception of some of HBO's programming, is 99.9% irredeemable garbage.
12. I will use fewer profanities. This too will be difficult.
13. I will work more on playing my guitar. Though I feel like I've made quite a lot of progress with my playing, I am still not where I'd like to be. I will also start playing more music with other people.
14. I will return to the GED class I previously tutored throughout the spring.
15. I will keep my apartment cleaner.
16. I will more seriously consider spirituality. However, if I come to find that I still consider myself an agnostic/atheist, I will be totally fine.
17. I will keep in closer contact with my parents, grandmother and brother.
18. I will attempt to engage in other creative activities - e.g. writing, photography...
19. I will go on dates.
That should do it for now.
Wish me luck.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Shelves
I have an apartment.
In my apartment, I have shelves.
On my shelves, I have things.
What follows is a list of some my things.
A Dwight D. Eisenhower toby mug (SUPREME ALLIED COMMANDER EDITION! RARE! BIN!)
The New York Times report on the Fischer/Spassky World Chess Championship of 1972
A Jiffy travel steamer
A small wooden figurine of Kali
A DVD of Monte Hellman's Two-Lane Blacktop
A four compact disc set of Opera from the Works of Tadanori Yokoo by Toshi Ichiyanagi
A 1/35 scale model of an Israeli Defense Force infantry unit
An LP copy of ZZ Top's Fandango!
A Boss PN-2 Tremolo/Pan stompbox
What follows is a list of those things that I actually need.
A Jiffy travel steamer
An LP copy of ZZ Top's Fandango!
'Cause that album KILLS.
Most male members of my family are collectors. My father collects books, my brother collects DVDs, my uncle collects worthless garbage. I don't know exactly where I fit in the scheme of things...
...probably more on the "worthless garbage" spectrum of things.
My collecting habit would not be such a problem if I:
A. Had an actual income
B. Lived in an apartment that actually had enough room to fit everything that I find
Why do I have all these things? Do I have a disorder? Am I going show up on one of those MSNBC "documentaries" about horders? Will it feature a police officer remarking "We found him underneath a pile of half-eaten chicken wings and decade-old copies of National Geographic" while my body is being wheeled out on a gurney?
Probably not.
So what gives?
The best I can come up with is this: I don't have much of an actual personality. What constitutes the author of this entry is the music he's listened to, the films he's seen and the books he's read. I would love to be able to drop everything and retire to some Himalayan hillside, shave my head and wear orange for the rest of my life. But for whatever reason, I can't fathom living life without my things.
Simply put, these things are me. I am these things.
I hate that.
In my apartment, I have shelves.
On my shelves, I have things.
What follows is a list of some my things.
A Dwight D. Eisenhower toby mug (SUPREME ALLIED COMMANDER EDITION! RARE! BIN!)
The New York Times report on the Fischer/Spassky World Chess Championship of 1972
A Jiffy travel steamer
A small wooden figurine of Kali
A DVD of Monte Hellman's Two-Lane Blacktop
A four compact disc set of Opera from the Works of Tadanori Yokoo by Toshi Ichiyanagi
A 1/35 scale model of an Israeli Defense Force infantry unit
An LP copy of ZZ Top's Fandango!
A Boss PN-2 Tremolo/Pan stompbox
What follows is a list of those things that I actually need.
A Jiffy travel steamer
An LP copy of ZZ Top's Fandango!
'Cause that album KILLS.
Most male members of my family are collectors. My father collects books, my brother collects DVDs, my uncle collects worthless garbage. I don't know exactly where I fit in the scheme of things...
...probably more on the "worthless garbage" spectrum of things.
My collecting habit would not be such a problem if I:
A. Had an actual income
B. Lived in an apartment that actually had enough room to fit everything that I find
Why do I have all these things? Do I have a disorder? Am I going show up on one of those MSNBC "documentaries" about horders? Will it feature a police officer remarking "We found him underneath a pile of half-eaten chicken wings and decade-old copies of National Geographic" while my body is being wheeled out on a gurney?
Probably not.
So what gives?
The best I can come up with is this: I don't have much of an actual personality. What constitutes the author of this entry is the music he's listened to, the films he's seen and the books he's read. I would love to be able to drop everything and retire to some Himalayan hillside, shave my head and wear orange for the rest of my life. But for whatever reason, I can't fathom living life without my things.
Simply put, these things are me. I am these things.
I hate that.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
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